Having a Brain is like living in Wellington

In Wellington, summer is a state of mind. We decide it is summer and we do summery things even if the actual weather has other ideas. We love it if it is a glorious 22 degrees (because – let’s face it – our expectations of summer aren’t too high to begin with) but if it's a cool 17 with rain and a Welly southerly we still try to get out there and enjoy summer.

Some of the best summer barbeques, picnics and weddings I’ve been to in this town were on grim days, but were still great fun. We don’t need to wait until the weather is amazing before we act like it is summer. In fact if we did, we’d only leave the house a few times a year.

Sometimes we just need to put on a jacket and go out anyway.

Thoughts are a lot like Wellington weather. We wish they were positive all the time and we enjoy it when they say happy things to us, but if we avoid doing what we have to do just because we’re waiting for the uplifting thoughts, we’d be waiting a hell of a long time. Sometimes we just need to thank our brain for thinking of all the potential dangers and crap stuff (remember that’s what our brains are for), and notice all the unpleasant feelings that appear when our brain thinks those thoughts, and do stuff that we care about anyway.

In Part Two we discussed thoughts of being a failure, so let's stick with those (but obviously this illustration works with any thought). Look at these two sentences:

“I’m a failure.”

“I’m noticing that I’m having a thought that is saying I’m a failure.”

Which sentence kicks you in the guts and hurts just to read it? The first one?
Now which sentence is true? The second one. Yet despite that, the second sentence doesn’t seem so painful.

By stepping back and observing our thoughts rather than being in the middle of them, we can remove some of the painful feelings associated with the thought, so it has less impact on what we do. And watching a thought takes a lot less energy than fighting a thought.

Easier said than done?

Next time, we’ll look at some strategies to help us gain space from thoughts and self-imposed labels. But in the meantime, where’s my winter coat? It’s time to head to the beach for a picnic!